Authenticity Revisited

I've gotten pulled away into a wide variety of topics the past few months. But I always seem to come back to my original focus. Authenticity.

We’ve discussed what that word means on so many levels. So let me go one step further.

I had something happen a few days ago that really got me thinking. It’s happened before, only this time I noticed a huge shift in myself, my perception, my reaction and the outcome. And since I write about what’s happening in my world as it happens, here goes.

I posted something on Facebook a few days ago. It wasn’t something I’d label as bad, offensive, obnoxious or even opinionated. It was just a cute little ditty that sparked a snarky giggle and I knew that many of my friends would “get it.” After all, it’s been a challenging couple of months.

It had within it a few curse words. Yep. Profanity.

But I’m no Pollyanna. I’ve had more than a few expletives leave my mouth, but only in private. That’s just how I roll.

If I come off looking like a perfect angel, I’m here to tell you, it’s just not so.

Now that you know my deepest, darkest secrets, let’s get back to Authenticity.

I’ve had over 100 hits on the Facebook post, with people loving it. It resonates with so many people and several got a good giggle from it too.

But, I had one friend express her discomfort with my post. And she’s a wonderful friend. Someone I love, respect and admire. I’d never in a million years, intentionally disrespect or hurt her.

In the past, I would’ve felt guilty, wrong, heart-sick, bad, mortified and a variety of other emotions. I would’ve twisted my hands, wondering what to do. I would’ve probably beat myself up for being dumb enough to post it. I would’ve removed the post, even just for one person.

This time, however, I had a different reaction. The initial “oh my god,” hit me, but only slightly. I considered taking it down. But then, reason kicked in. It wasn’t offensive in any way, shape or form (unless you hate curse words). It was how I was feeling. It was honest and to the point. And it resonated with my tribe. It was true, real and authentic.

I checked myself a second time, through logic and good ole’ common sense. Was it hurting anyone? Was it being disrespectful, judgmental, critical or demeaning? Was it political? Was it religious? The answer was no. So why would I want to take it down? Well, because I’m sensitive to what others feel. I always come from a space of love and respect.

Then the real stuff came in. In the past I would’ve taken it down because I was a people pleaser. Because I wanted everyone to like or love me. Because I wanted to come off looking like a “good girl.” Because in the past I posted things to get approval, acceptance and validation.

In that very moment, I felt a spark of joy I had never felt before. I felt a confidence and strength surge through me that I’ve only recently started to experience. A sureness and solidity. A knowing emanating from my being that was making itself known in a big way.

I realized more than ever, I’d finally stepped into my true, authentic self. Knowing and loving who I am. Accepting and forgiving all of me. All of my strengths and weaknesses. What I know and what I’ve yet to learn. Knowing my hearts desires and intentions and all of my hopes and dreams. Knowing that I’m ok. Knowing that not everyone has to like me or agree with me. Knowing that I’m perfect just as I am. And knowing that the only one I choose to please is myself and of course, my Source.

Knowing that those posts are really only for me, anyway.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a sense of calm like I felt at that moment and right now. As a matter of fact, I’m having trouble finding the words to write that describes what I’m feeling.

Freedom. I’m feeling a huge sense of relief, peace and freedom. Like never before.

So, authenticity isn’t just about being real or genuine. That’s part of it. It’s not just about knowing what you like or wearing whatever style suits you. It’s not just about fearlessly speaking your truth. And it’s not just about sharing your talents with the world.

It goes back to my Awaken Your Core Fire summit. My tagline (even efore I knew what it really meant) was “Be unshakeable, unstoppable and unapologetically you!” And that tagline doesn’t mean that it’s ok to do things from a space of not thinking things through, pushing or forcing yourself or your ideas onto others or being arrogant, rude, disrespectful or unloving in any way. That’s not authenticity.

It means you have the confidence, self-assuredness and inspiration to do what you’re passionate about. It means that even in the midst of trials and challenges, you know you’re on the right path and you keep on moving. It means that you show up as your beautiful, shiny, brilliant, glowing, inspired self without fear or worry that others may not approve or be jealous of you. Your intention is always pure and comes from a space of love. Your self-love is at an all-time high. Your connection with your Source is strong and you are Divinely guided every step of the way. You easily stand firm in that.

It means that you have an unshakeable sense of self. That you’re perfect, worthy, strong and valuable. It means you can screw up and still be ok, even if you show it to the world. It means you aren’t afraid to be vunerable. It means you aren’t trying to be someone else, impress others or come into fortune and fame. And even if you do, you show up as a natural giver and lover in that arena, too. It’s really hard to find the words because it’s so natural, peaceful and wonderful. There’s no “story” that goes with it.

In my case, it came from a lot of deep inner work and practice. It probably came with middle age. And maybe my greatest source of change came from my all-consuming devotion to the spirit that created me. But what a gift to “find it,” as we spend most of our young adult lives trying to figure out who we are and being who we’re not, judging and criticizing others and ourselves and hiding from the condemnation of others. We walk around wearing a facade that hides our pain. We play a game we don’t even understand. And it causes great pain and suffering. We try to be like everyone else so we fit into the crowd. But clearly, that’s not authenticity.

Knowing who you are at a deep level stops the old story.

The path to authenticity is a worthwhile one. Some of it requires work. Some of it requires patience, allowing, unfolding. It all requires your consciousness, your awareness. You’ll hit different stages of authenticity and you’ll know when you’ve “arrived.”

It’s a wisdom, freedom and joy that is priceless. And remember, it all comes from a deep space of love. As in my experience, sometimes loving others requires walking away. Or holding a space for their continued growth. And being authentic always means you’re open to the lessons and evolution that come just for you.

So, on that note - be free to be the beautiful, creative, unique physical expression of the Divine that you came here to be. And try to have fun on the journey.

And above all else, watch what you post on Facebook, would ya? ;)