Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

My comfort zone. Ahh…..that feels nice.

Comfort zone:

The comfort zone is a psychological state in which a person feels familiar, at ease, in control and experiences low anxiety and stress. In the zone a steady level of performance is possible.[1]

Bardwick defines the term as "a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position."

[2] Brown describes it as "Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized — where we believe we’ll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control."[3]

I’ve lived there since I was born. It’s safe and familiar. It’s something I can go to when I feel afraid, tired or confused. I know it well. It will always be there for me when I need it.

The few times I’ve tried to step out of my comfort zone, it didn’t feel good. It was scary as hell. The unknown. I like to know where I am and where I’m going. And I don’t like feeling afraid.

My life is pretty much over and as the saying goes, “It IS what it IS.” I can’t say I’m particularly happy or that I’ve achieved any of the big things in life I had hoped to. I guess I could say that my big achievement in life is that I have great kids. My relationship is just so-so but at least I found someone who will put up with me. My job is just a job, but it pays the bills. My health is a little shaky and I don’t have too many friends because I’m an introvert. People just suck the living daylights out of me. In fact, I have to be truthful here. I don’t really like people much at all.

I used to laugh, paint, write, dance and sing. I created wonderful things; but then, creativity took a back seat and life took over. I mean, I’m an adult. I have to pay bills and be responsible. I have to take care of my kids. I have to keep everyone fed, safe, clothed. I have to keep my household functioning. I have to drive everyone where they have to go. I have to have some kind of adult relationship with my husband. If it weren’t for me, things would probably fall apart. But I’m fine with “settling for” right where I am.

Or am I?

Why do I have this nagging feeling that my life could/should be so much more? Why do I feel depressed or at best, not much at all? Why am I unhappy and discontented with everything? Why is there no joy in my life? Why is my job so damn boring? Why is my relationship so hard? Why do I feel like there’s no time for me? Why does my body ache? Why am I so disillusioned with my marriage, with love? Why do I feel so alone? What’s the point of me even being on this planet?

Does this sound like a conversation you’ve ever had with yourself? C'mon. Be honest.

Yeah, I felt that way for most of my life too. Except, add a whole lot more trauma and drama to the picture and that was my life. Deep inside I knew there was so much more. But I’ll be damned if I could get to it.

You know my story. I’ve been through hell and back. But you know what? If my life had been what I would consider perfect; great health, a heavenly relationship, tons of wealth and a career that brought me great satisfaction, I never would’ve had the desire to get to the “so much more” that was waiting for me. I would’ve settled for what was.

And although everyone experiences growth on some level, I know I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to go on the incredible and deep journey that has been my life for many years now.

I never would have known what it was like to experience great health. I never would have been able to attract and maintain a beautiful and blissful relationship with my soul partner. My artistic abilities would’ve stayed dormant. I wouldn’t have had the courage to follow my hearts’ desire to help others. I never would’ve loved others for who they are. I never would’ve had enough money. I never would’ve learned to love, accept and embrace myself on a deep inner level. I would’ve continued to hide from life. I would never have been able to participate in the process of unraveling the forgetting who I am part of this life experience in order to get to the remembering part.

It’s hard to imagine going back to the old state of kidding yourself that you’re kind of satisfied living there. The thing is, if you’ve never experienced anything more, it may seem normal to live that way. But it isn’t, trust me.

As for me, I decided early on to step outside of my comfort zone. Well, it really wasn’t by choice at first. I did it because my life was so screwed up that it forced me into finding relief. The journey hurt for many years. Like hell. But did it hurt as much as the hell I was living on a daily basis? I might have thought so at the time – but again, not really.

I started recognizing my inner guidance, but usually my ego would win. I’d get on my face and pray - a lot. Sometimes I yelled at God. But I’d find a way to move forward, even when I didn’t know where I was going. And then I’d take a few steps back.

Sometimes I’d fail and get seriously depressed. I’d often give up. And once in a blue moon I’d find a way to snap out of my misery coma, but always ended up right back in my comfort zone. Often-times I would think it was just easier to suffer then to work on changing. Whatever THAT meant. But I had a deep inner knowing that I clung to and that’s what got me to where I am today.

And I still do the same dance today. Only now, I have a greater faith, greater knowing, powerful tools and an awareness of how it all works. I know I’m not a victim and that I create my circumstances. I recover faster. And I know if I move forward and trust, something will give. It’s a lifelong commitment and practice.

Just know that when you commit to change, you’ll get it. Seriously. The Universe doesn’t fool around. Whenever you’re in cahoots with Source, just know that you’re headed in the right direction. Trust you have all you need within and without to make the journey. And, the more you practice allowing and surrender, the faster you'll recover your connection to Spirit and alignment with your life. You’ll begin to discover the joy of being.

And this is where life begins.

The unknown:

: one that is not known or not well-known; especially : a person who is little known (as to the public)

: something that requires discovery, identification, or clarification

You can stay in a seemingly safe and familiar state of mind, one that allows you to feel a false sense of peace. And you’ll experience little or no growth. You can fear the unknown and put a scary, negative spin on what lies before you or you can begin to trust that something miraculous and wonderful is about to happen. But nothing will change unless you make a conscious choice to step out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. You must take some kind of action.

Change:

a : to make different in some particular : alter <never bothered to change the will>

b : to make radically different : transform <can't change human nature>

c : to give a different position, course, or direction to

d : to replace with another <let's change the subject>

e : to make a shift from one to another : switch <always changes sides in an argument>

f : to undergo a modification of <foliage changing color>

The climb is difficult at first. You want to give up. You’ve forgotten who you are. You don’t realize what’s possible. This is where your old belief patterns and fears emerge. This is where you’re forced to relive your early childhood years; all your fears and traumas. This is where you feel more confusion than you’ve ever felt before. This is where you might retreat into depression, anger, anxiety. Or you might resort to numbing yourself by participating in certain addictive behaviors. And this is where some people stay.

Others have a burning desire or a knowing. Some people pray. And this is all good.

Because the Universe hears you. You are a beautiful piece of the Universal field of love. You are God in human form. If you persist in asking, connecting to your heart-center and listening to your inner voice, you WILL hear it. Even if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll do what it takes. You will walk the path you are here to walk. You’ll fall and fail; and then get back up and do it again and again.

My last blogpost talked about transformation being easy. That wasn’t my experience. But I now know that you don’t have to suffer to make huge shifts and changes in your life and being. And you can spin it anyway you want to.

If your journey is a bit more difficult, trust it will surely be a way for you to connect with others who will need you down the road. But always remember, we can resist and be afraid, we can stop and start, we can distrust and trust, we can do all of the things that humans do when faced with change. The reality is that we are already perfect as we are. We must wrap our minds around that fact.

We are eternal, infinite beings of love and light. We are already whole, perfect, healthy, abundant, all-knowing, blissful beings in our purest form. Everything that exists in this physical world is a part of the infinite field of Spirit. Nothing exists outside of this truth. The world and its’ struggles are an illusion.

We came here to experience human-ness. We signed up to do it. We knew before we got here that it would be a wonderful adventure and that we’d have everything we need to succeed. We knew the world was our oyster before we arrived.

Then we came here and forgot.

So now it’s time to wake up. We already know all of this at a deep level. So ditch the comfort zone and stop being afraid. Just say YES YES YES to your life. No matter what. The miracles you’ll experience, the peace and joy, the love are all by-products of saying YES. Letting go of all control and jumping in with all of your heart will bring you face to face with the fullness of who you really are.

You already signed up. You’re here right now, in this time and space. And you didn’t come here to sit on the sidelines and play miserable and small. So, just DO IT.

As you do, I promise, the lessons will get easier over time. You’ll start to recover at warp speed because you’ll finally “get” that there’s nothing wrong with you; there’s nothing to fear. You’ll realize that you’ve temporarily stepped out of alignment with your true self and you’ll find a way to get back to that space because it feels so good.

And as you change, your world changes. Your circumstances. Your opportunities. The people in your life. In fact, with every shift you experience, the entire Universe shifts along with you.

How cool is that?

I encourage you to start living fully today. Stop hiding from life and play the game to the best of your ability. You can’t lose. The only way you can lose is by not playing.

Ready, set go!