A matter of perspective

I wrote this blog post months ago. It was left unfinished until recently. Strangely enough, I had found the picture above, representing how our perspective is determined by the way we see things - before the events in Paris. Now that I'm finally posting this, I believe this blog is right on time.

A few months ago I was reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. When I came across a story (shown below), I knew it was important. I’ve had my own similar experiences, but felt that this one would best convey my message. It sparked a deeply emotional response in me, as I remembered past memories from similar situations.

Stephen describes an experience he had while riding a subway in New York City. He tells how the people onboard the train were peaceful and content that morning, until a man enters the car with several unruly children. He shares that the man sits down, completely unattentive to what is going on. He remains quiet, during which time his children wreak absolute havoc by screaming, throwing things and even stealing people’s papers. He notices that people are getting really annoyed. He is too, but no one says anything. After a short time and at the end of his rope, Stephen finally takes things into his own hands. He speaks up, and asks the man if he could handle his children a little better.

The man looks up apologetically and says that he’s sorry about the kids. He explains that they just came from the hospital and that their mother has just died. He says he didn’t know how the kids were going to take it, or how they would act.

Feel the shift?

We live in our own self-made paradigm. A paradigm is a set of concepts or theories that we’ve acquired. I liken it to living in a “box.” We also live by our own perception and perspectives. Perception is “the way you think about or understand someone or something.” Perspective is simply your point of view. Our perception and perspective is “colored by” our paradigm.

We live our lives daily, from this very precarious space. We live in our own little box and see things not as they are, but as WE are. We label situations and people. We create fairy-tales. We betray ourselves and others only to experience our own personal hell; all from some inner story we acquired a long time ago. Often, and unconsciously, we make others wrong to make ourselves right. We want others to look bad so we can feel good. We lack compassion for other’s experiences by saying they should’ve known better. We blame others for not doing enough, while we sit back and do nothing. We have an inner dialogue that creates our external world; our circumstances. And that creation joins with the negative conscious thoughts swirling around the entire planet. We are all one.

Like the “subway story” above, we never stop to think that perhaps what’s going on isn't as it appears. What we think we see is not reality. We forget that we have no right to judge others or circumstances. When we make that choice, we forget that we are also judging ourselves.

When friends and family gather for the holidays, it can be an exhausting experience. Before the holiday even arrives, we talk about what a pain in the neck Aunt Sally is and what a loser cousin Sam is. About how last year there was a big blow-up and that we only go because it’s a family tradition. We talk about how much more loving and respectful we are then our brothers or sisters. Or that we live in a much nicer neighborhood, while they live in squalor. Or we might think they were given everything and we got left out. Either way, it’s a holiday cocktail that we shouldn’t mix or drink. It’s a repeat performance of last year’s event. And none of it is real. We create it and then, keep the energy of it going.

This morning I was reading from another great book called “Leadership and Self-Deception,” which I highly recommend for all conscious entrepreneurs. Long-story-short, it explains all the ways our thoughts, words and actions create. When we create stories about others, it comes from a space of our own self-betrayal, which is self-sabotage.

Self betrayal:

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view of reality becomes distorted.

4. When I betray myself, I enter the "box."

Self betrayal then becomes self-deception:

1. I inflate others faults

2. I inflate my own virtue

3. I inflate the value of things that justify my self-betrayal

4. I blame.

We actually go through an inner process of twisting things around in order to stay safe in our box. We make judgements without any consideration for what someone may be going through. Although that process makes us feel bigger temporarily, our conscious self is calling us out and we know it; which causes guilt and confusion. We unconsciously create untrue scenarios and unhappy outcomes. Again, a personal hell for ourselves and everyone within our sphere.

This also applies to what we see going on in the world today. When something happens that we don’t understand, we look at it through our own distorted filter. We criticize, judge, blame and condemn; which adds to the already warped perception and heartlessness of the world consciousness. And even if we never pick up a gun to kill, we turn around and take the same actions against others (in the form of hatred) that we say we despise.

So, on this day, make a pact with yourself to wake up. Be aware of what you’re thinking, saying, and doing. Be conscious of the stories you’re creating about yourself and others; about external circumstances and events. Watch your thoughts as you look at things going on around you and in the world. Listen to your ego and the subconscious judgements you are creating. The automatic conversations that begin and expand in your mind. Make it a priority to learn more about who you’ve become and start to practice changing those things that don’t serve you or anyone else.

Think about looking at things from a different perspective. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Before you judge, stop and look at situations with love. Just because the world seems caught up in the negative news doesn’t mean you have to add to it. Change the channel.

You get to choose. You are the master of your emotions, your thoughts and actions. If you allow your ego and subconscious beliefs to run you, you’ll find plenty of evidence of it in your life. The state of your health, relationships, money and emotional state of either depression or joy will be your guide.

Get out of your box. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Go to the holiday dinner this year with love, compassion, patience and understanding. Be open. Be gentle with yourself, too.

And spend time changing your perspective on things you know nothing about. Instead of cultivating fear and hatred, pray and send love to the victims, the perpetrators, the leaders; everyone and every situation across the globe.

Support causes you believe in, that will make a difference in the world. Don’t join causes that “fight” anything. You can change your perception, perspective and paradigm by staying awake and consciously practicing creating yourself anew. Together, we can consciously create a new world within and without.